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Amateur

I was smiling to myself and daydreaming about Carter when I heard the honk from his SUV. It was finally 11:00 on Saturday, the time Carter and I had decided to meet.

I said bye to my parents and went out the door and down the steps. I walked to his car, trying not to be my nervous and awkward self. I got in and said hey, and he said hey back as we backed down my driveway and out to the street.

He was wearing a somewhat tight T-shirt and I could clearly see his pecs imprinting into the shirt. I quickly glanced at his crotch. Wasn’t hard. It was nice with him driving so I could marvel at him to myself.

We headed off to a quiet personal space where we could talk. We chit-chatted as we made our way there.

A few minutes later we pulled into the parking lot of an abandoned Pizza Hut. He turned off the car. We got out and walked to the back of the car. He opened the trunk and we got in. He reached up and closed it from within. We leaned against opposite sides so that we could face each other.

“So what did you wanna talk about?” He asked me.

“Just you. I guess. I don’t know… Are you actually serious that you’re interested in me and would maybe consider trying again? I don’t know its concerning… cause come on Carter. You know how you are…,” I said. “Shit that sounded so rude,” I thought. My eyes kept rapidly shifting around. I was so nervous and really intimidated by him. And he just didn’t know.

“What do you mean by ‘how you are’?” He seemed to be making an effort to be mature and didn’t /seem/ to be acting as if he was taking it as a personal affront. Doesn’t mean he didn’t though.

“You’re just very… I don’t know. Insincere in relationships. You break up with someone and have a new boyfriend in under a week. And then you fuck ’em within a week. I don’t want that. And if that’s all you’re gonna use me for I’m sorry but casino siteleri I can’t do it. I do wanna be with you but if its gonna happen I mean… I want you to be sincere with me. And I don’t wanna dive into sex with you either. I wanna take it slow. And I don’t want a repeat of before,” I said with a sigh, as a brief memory of the pain I felt from the breakup hit me. I glanced down, trying to not get upset over it.

“Yeah… I know I have problems. I try not to be such a well, whore. I’m just… I don’t want to be one but… its hard when its such a distraction from everything that sucks in my life!” I knew he was depressed and had no self esteem. And I really hated it, it hurt my heart.

“What sucks in your life? You’re attractive as fuck for one. And you always have a boyfriend. Think about my life. You don’t know how well you have it…”

“True, I mean, I can’t imagine putting up with what you do. And I guess I’m lucky with the boyfriends. But I’m not good looking Jordan,” he muttered.

“Yes you are! What the hell?! You’re so attractive. You’re literally one of the cutest guys I know. And I know a lot of guys. Gee, that sounded good… anyway. Why are you so psychotic about your looks?” He was exasperating.

“I’m not! I’m just not attractive. Don’t make me feel better by lying to me.” He said bitterly.

“I’m telling the truth! Jesus… Look, literally everyone I’ve asked has thought you were very, very attractive. You need help. I used to think I was ugly.”

“How could you think that?” he asked with confusion.

“See! See! See how fucking annoying it is!? Look, like I said, I used to think I was ugly. And I never thought anything else. Then after you, well… it started to change. I’m kinda cute. I know that now. And I can legitimately look in the mirror and say that to myself. And I want you to get to that level so bad. Damn it canlı casino Carter! I want to help you. You need to know how attractive you are. You need help,” I said as I reached over and gently squeezed his arm while looking into his pretty green eyes.

“I don’t,” he protested.

“Yes you do. Getting help isn’t a sign of weakness! Its healthy. It helps people!”

“I… Ugh ok I’ll… try thinking I’m attractive when I look in the mirror… or something,” he said as he crossed his arms and started to blink a little bit more frequently.

“Don’t take down all the mirrors in your house.” I muttered as we laughed.

“Look man,” I said, “I wanna help you. Ok? I want to be there for you. I can help you feel better about yourself. I can distract you from ‘everything that sucks’ in your life. Let me be there for you. Open up to me. /Please./”

Carter’s eyes started to water. Maybe I’d finally broken into his hard ass head. He scooted to his right. “Sit with me,” he said as he motioned beside himself.

I obliged and crawled to his side of the car and leaned up against his side.

“You know I love you,” I murmured.

“I know,” he said, quietly, as he put his arm around me.

I took his hand. “So,” I started, softly. “We gonna try again?”

He answered my question by taking his arm off my shoulder, taking his hand from mine, and putting it on the back of my neck. He pulled his hand toward himself and kissed me very gently on the lips.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I giggled. I kissed him back, much rougher.

We started to make out. My world became flooded with electricity. We only made out for a couple minutes and stopped. We just laid beside one another in his trunk. We rested together for quite awhile, silently, just enjoying each other. Turns out we just fell asleep.

My phone’s ringing woke me up. I looked kaçak casino outside. Darkness.

“Fuck!” I yelled. That woke Carter up.

“Wha- oh shit.”

I hadn’t responded quickly enough to catch my phone. But I knew it was my mother. I checked the time on my phone. 8:45. Then I looked at my calls. I had missed four calls and three texts from my mom. “How did we sleep through three phone calls? Shit my moms gonna kill me.”

“Oh god I think my phones on silent.” He said with a groan as he checked his. His parents weren’t concerned nearly as much as mine. He just had one text asking when he’d be home.

“That was a quick five hours,” I said with a grin.

“A nice five hours,” he replied, with a soft smile.

“Indeed. Ugh we need to go,” I grumbled, wanting to spend so much more time with him.

We got out of his trunk and got back into our seats. He started the car and we headed off.

I called my mom. I was scolded a little bit but I reminded her that it was Saturday and I was seventeen. She let it slide but reminded me to check my “damn phone” next time.

When he got to my house, I told him to pull up the drive and stop at the side of my house, so we wouldn’t be seen. He stopped where I suggested, leaving the car running.

We both got out and we grasped each other’s hand for a split second. We let go and we hugged each other tight.

“Thanks for being so sweet today,” Carter said, “No ones ever really seemed to get me so well. I don’t see how you gathered what you did from the limited amount that you actually know about me. But anyway. Thanks. You’re such a great guy.”

“Eh well you too,” I teased. “I love you.”

“I know. I do too.” We kissed each other gently. Three times. We tightly hugged again and I could hear his heart speeding up at me being in his arms. I’m sure mine did the same. We kissed one last time, a quick peck, and he got in his car and headed off to home.

I kept walking around the side of my house and walked in the back door, attempting to suppress the smile that wanted to burst onto my face.

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